What Americans Can
Learn from Serbians
While every society and country has its problems, I also
think that we can learn a lot from other cultures and people groups. Americans
sometimes take this for granted—we get into the mindset of American
exceptionalism, even if we don’t mean to. So the idea that someone else’s
culture could positively contribute to our own isn’t one that’s often talked
about.
I think that part of the reason for this is that we have and
hold to a lot of stereotypes about other countries. For instance, when a lot of
Americans think of Serbia and Serbs, they immediately think of Communist
Yugoslavia, the Bosnian war, and ruthless nationalistic fighters. The souvenir
stands throughout Belgrade emphasize this. While older parts of the city have
crafts, pottery, paintings, and even traditional wine and rakia, the more
commercial parts of the city have kiosks with Yugoslav soldier hats, Serbian
flags, t-shirts with crude sayings, and other items that really play on this
stereotype of the country.
These stereotypes, however, tend to not recognize the
redeeming qualities of other cultures or the individuals that make up the
country. Serbians live a lot like Americans, but some parts of life are a lot
different here—parts of life that I think Americans could stand to reevaluate
and begin to change.
So, here are some things I think Americans could learn from
Serbians:
1. Life is not all about your career.
Too often, we define ourselves by what we’re doing, where
we’re working, what we’re studying. When I was living in Washington, DC, I
probably told at least one person a day that I was a Writing major from Geneva
College interning at the Department of State’s Trafficking in Persons Office.
In DC, who you are is defined by what career you have or what office you work
for. In my experience, this doesn’t change much in the rest of the US.
Here, people ask me what I’m studying or where I’m working,
but these aren’t the first questions out of their mouths. Mostly they want to
know why in the world I’m in Serbia. Eventually they ask me what I study and
where I’m interning, but no one really “oohs” and “aahs” over what I’m doing
with my career. They care more about who I am as a person and not just what my
resume says I’m worth.
2. Scheduling your day away doesn’t really leave a lot of
room for adventures or relationships.
I’m definitely someone who’s guilty of needing to have a
schedule running through my head for the whole day. This is partly because I
get sidetracked if I don’t, but I also think it’s just because that’s what
American culture has taught us to do. But this isn’t really that natural or
that exciting of a way to live, which is probably why people are always late
and often depressed.
Here, they create space in their day to enjoy time with
friends, to allow for flexibility. People meet for coffee or drinks and sit for
2-3 hours at a time. No phones, no rushing out—just talking over coffee.
People, of course, do have schedules and meetings and appointments, but it
doesn’t seem like they let a schedule rule their lives.
3. Life is meant to be done in community with others.
Everyone here is so willing to help with anything, even if
they can’t understand a word I’m saying. People look out for each other,
whether its their coworkers, family, or friends. This isn’t to say that
individualism and discrimination aren’t present. But what I’ve experienced is
that people don’t offer to help me because I’m American, a woman, or a good
resource for them. They just help me because I’m a human being.
How different would things be if we stopped helping people
or being friends with people because of what they could offer us? What if we
were just willing to give what we
have to offer them? Even the
anti-trafficking efforts here center around community-based initiatives and
involvement because the reality is that no one person is going to fight human
trafficking in Serbia, the US, or anywhere else in the world. We’re meant to be
part of a community, to be working together to help each other.
4. You don’t need a smart phone or a car, for that
matter.
A lot of people have both smart phones and cars here, but
there are also a lot of people who have dinky Nokias and rely on public
transportation to get around. One reason for this is that a lot of people just
don’t have the money to spend on smart phones or new cars—there are a lot of
beaters driving around, including some old Yugos! But regardless of that,
people here love to talk in person and they love to walk. Talking on the phone
is definitely preferred to texting, but talking in person at a café is the best
option for conversation. People aren’t constantly taking photos of food or
friends or themselves—social media is used, but definitely not to the degree
that we use it. And not being able to be constantly connected has been a good
experience. Life shouldn’t revolve around my iPhone.
And walking. Walking is probably the preferred method of
transportation; one coworker even tried to convince me that it would be easy
for me to walk home from work—over a 3 mile walk! But seriously, if you take
the bus over walking a mile, don’t tell people because most of them will just
wonder why you didn’t walk because “it’s so close!”
Americans tend to really love their individuality and their
careers. Being here in Belgrade has been a good reminder that I am not my career, a reminder that keeps me
in focus of why I’m doing what I’m doing in the first place: a passion to help
people fight against human trafficking. And hopefully I can bring some Serbian
culture home to Pittsburgh to show others the importance of community, the need
for a flexible schedule, the innate worth of people regardless of their career,
and the value of a good cup of coffee.
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“The Victor” overlooking the rivers at the Belgrade
fortress, Belgrade, Serbia
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Great War Island and the confluence of the Sava and Danube
rivers, Belgrade, Serbia
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My own homemade Serbian kafa
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“The Victor” statue, Belgrade,
Serbia
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